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The best piece of advice that can be offered generally about situations where your ex doesn’t cooperating with issues relating to the kids is that just because he or she may be acting inappropriately doesn’t justify you to retaliate in the same manner. As much as it may be nice to get revenge on your ex, the important part to remember is that the kids are also going to be affected by how you respond.
The remedies you have available depend on how the other parent is misbehaving. Frequently issues arise after final orders have been entered as to how to address a situation which either was not covered or is vague by the terms of your prior agreement. For example, some separation agreements may state the amount of parenting time for each parent, but do not specify details such as pick up times, how transportation will be arranged, the process if a conflict arises, etc. In these cases, if you can’t reach an agreement with your ex, your only recourse may be to request that the court modify your earlier order and specifying more details.
In extreme cases, especially in situations where communication between the parents is hostile and unproductive, or the parties refuse to compromise, it may be necessary to go back to court to get a “parenting coordinator” or a “decision-maker.” In either of these roles, a third person is appointed to either mediate or make final decisions for the parents for problems they can’t resolve themselves. While this is a quick manner to resolving issues, there is often a fee involved with these types of appointments.
Other situations may revolve around hostile “he said, she said” communication, or the parent may be trying to relay messages and information through the child. In these cases you might consider using a notebook to relay this information without having to actually speak to the other person. Other options include using email only as a mode of communication. There are also websites such as ourfamilywizard.com through which communication can be monitored and useful information such as health insurance information and medical bill reimbursement can be posted and tracked.
There are other frustrating situations such as the problem where the other parent is continuously late for exchanges or doesn’t use any courtesy when last minute conflicts come up. Finding a remedy for these types of situation is difficult, assuming a cost-effective remedy even exists. The best thing you can do for these types of problems is to keep track of what happens, when it happened, and how the situation was handled or resolved. Over time this may be a basis for modifying the court orders in some manner as to either prevent or minimize these problems from occurring.
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